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Dear God

Oh.. Dear God

Yesterday was an awful day for me..

My husband ran off with his secretary.
My son pierced his eyebrow.
My daughter tattooed the bald spot on her head.
My dog mated with the neighbours cat.
My neighbour sold her house to a mental institution.
My Mom told me I was adopted.
My boss told me I was laid off.
My sister was arrested for prostitution.
My house has termites.
My car was stolen.
All that came in the mail was bills.
A plane crash landed on my garage.
OJ Simpson came to my door selling rug cleaner.
And my TV blew.

Lord, please be with me today.

I was able to live through all that misery yesterday. And I will be able to make it through anything today!

But please.... DON'T LET ANYTHING HAPPEN TO MY COMPUTER!

High insulin level linked to breast cancer

NEW YORK (UPI) -- Elevated insulin levels in the blood appear to increase the risk of breast cancer in postmenopausal women, researchers in New York said.

Increased breast cancer risk for postmenopausal women previously has been linked to obesity and diabetes, researchers at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine of Yeshiva University said.

Both conditions involve insulin resistance, which causes increases in circulating levels of insulin. Insulin promotes cell division and breast tumor growth in animal models, so the researchers reasoned that elevated insulin levels could contribute to breast cancer risk in women, said their study, published in the International Journal of Cancer.

"Up to now, only a few studies have directly investigated whether insulin levels are associated with breast cancer risk, and those studies have yielded conflicting results," Geoffrey Kabat, a senior epidemiologist at Einstein said.

Kabat's team analyzed data on 5,450 women enrolled in the Women's Health Initiative, a study investigating the influence of a number of factors on women's health.

The researchers found women in the upper third for insulin levels were more than twice as likely to develop breast cancer when compared with women in bottom third for insulin levels.

Copyright 2009 by United Press International

CPR to be taught via Nintendo Wii game

BIRMINGHAM, Ala. (UPI) -- Cardiopulmonary resuscitation soon could be taught using the Nintendo Wii video game console, students at the University of Alabama, Birmingham, said.

The American Heart Association has pledged $50,000 to fund the work by biomedical engineering students, the university said in a release Thursday.

Greg Walcott, an associate professor of biomedical engineering, devised the idea of a computer program that could be downloaded on home computers and synched with the wireless technology of the Wii remote to teach users proper resuscitation technique.

The students plan to make the program available, free of charge, on the American Heart Association Web site as early as this fall.

"The Heart Association's high interest in our students' innovations points to potential of this project and how it fits in with its desire to deliver reliable CPR education to the masses," faculty adviser Jack Rogers said.

Copyright 2009 by United Press International

New monkey subspecies found in Brazil

NEW YORK (UPI) -- The Wildlife Conservation Society says a new subspecies of monkey has been discovered in a remote region of the Amazon in Brazil.

The organization said the monkey is related to saddleback tamarins, which include several species of monkeys known for their distinctively marked backs. The new subspecies was first seen by scientists on a 2007 expedition into the state of Amazonas in northwestern Brazil.

Researchers have dubbed the monkey Mura's saddleback tamarin (saguinus fuscicollis mura) after the Mura Indians, the ethnic group of Amerindians of the Purus and Madeira river basins where the monkey lives.

Biologists said the monkey is mostly gray and dark brown in color, with a distinctly mottled "saddle." It weighs less than three-quarters of a pound and is 9 inches tall with a 12.6-inch tail.

"This newly described monkey shows that even today there are still major wildlife discoveries to be made," said the study's lead author, Fabio Rohe of the Wildlife Conservation Society. "This discovery should serve as a wake-up call that there is still so much to learn from the world's wild places, yet humans continue to threaten these areas with destruction."

The discovery was reported in the June online edition of the International Journal of Primatology.

Copyright 2009 by United Press International

Simulated 105-day Mars mission ends

MOSCOW (UPI) -- A crew of six people Tuesday completed a 105-day simulated Mars mission, the European Space Agency said.

The crew left a special isolation facility in Moscow for the first time since March 31, ending an experiment that was part of the Mars500 program that will help scientists better understand the psychological and medical aspects of long spaceflights.

The crew included two ESA crew members: Oliver Knickel, a mechanical engineer in the German army, and Cyrille Fournier, an airline pilot from France. The remaining four were Russians: cosmonauts Sergei Ryazansky and Oleg Artemyev, Alexei Baranov, a medical doctor, and Alexei Shpakov, a sports physiologist.

"We have successfully completed our mission," said Knickel. "This is a big accomplishment that I am very proud of. I hope that the scientific data we have provided over the last months will help to make a mission to Mars possible."

During the isolation the crew faced a range of scenarios as if they really were traveling to Mars, including simulated emergencies, while coping with a communication delay of up to 20 minutes each way. The experiments were proposed by research institutes in Germany, France, Italy, Belgium, Austria, the Netherlands and Russia, as well as in the United States.

The study is the precursor to a simulation of a full 520-day mission to Mars and back, which is to start early next year.

Copyright 2009 by United Press International

Email Commandments

- Thou shalt include a clear and specific subject line.

- Thou shalt edit any quoted text down to the minimum thou needest.

- Thou shalt read thine own message thrice before sendest it.

- Thou shalt ponder how thy recipient might react to thy message.

- Thou shalt check thy spelling and thy grammar.

- Thou shalt not curse, flame, spam or USE all CAPS.

- Thou shalt not forward any chain letter.

- Thou shalt not rely on the privacy of email, especially from work.

- Thou shalt not use email for any illegal or unethical purpose.

- When in doubt, save thy message overnight and reread it in the light of the dawn.

- That which thou findest hateful to receive, sendest thou not unto others.